1 Peter series - The Same Goes For the Both of You

                                     The Same Goes For the Both of You

1 Peter 3:1-7

If the Apostle Peter was alive today, He would be eaten alive by social media and 21st century culture. But  the truth he wrote was inspired by the Holy Spirit of God and is good teaching for today’s Christians . Peter’s teaching was revolutionary on men and women. So before I get eaten alive, let the Holy Spirit speak to the issue of man and woman, husband and wife. We are to submit, serve, and honor each other.

In context to Peter’s exhortation on the attitudes in gender and marriage, Peter had a wife, a mother-in-law and a possible child (the latter is not spoken of in scripture). He knew that Jesus had great respect for women, and He had stayed at Peter’s home numerous times. (Mk.1:29-30, 2:1-12) With this background, let’s look at the text, “The same goes for you wives: Be good wives to your husbands, responsive to their needs. There are husbands who, indifferent as they are to any words about God, will be captivated by your life of holy beauty. What matters is not your outer appearance—the styling of your hair, the jewelry you wear, the cut of your clothes—but your inner disposition. 

Cultivate inner beauty, the gentle, gracious kind that God delights in. The holy women of old were beautiful before God that way, and were good, loyal wives to their husbands. Sarah, for instance, taking care of Abraham, would address him as “my dear husband.” You’ll be true daughters of Sarah if you do the same, unanxious and unintimidated.

The same goes for you husbands: Be good husbands to your wives. Honor them, delight in them. As women they lack some of your advantages. But in the new life of God’s grace, you’re equals. Treat your wives, then, as equals so your prayers don’t run aground.” Message Bible

Peter in writing to the exiled believers, he understands the need to establish the context of marriage and the attitude of women and men in context to submission, service, and honor in marriage. He begins with women, “The same goes for you wives: Be good wives to your husbands, responsive to their needs. There are husbands who, indifferent as they are to any words about God, will be captivated by your life of holy beauty. What matters is not your outer appearance—the styling of your hair, the jewelry you wear, the cut of your clothes—but your inner disposition. 

Cultivate inner beauty, the gentle, gracious kind that God delights in. The holy women of old were beautiful before God that way, and were good, loyal wives to their husbands. Sarah, for instance, taking care of Abraham, would address him as “my dear husband.” You’ll be true daughters of Sarah if you do the same, unanxious and unintimidated.”

Many exiled Christian women may have come from or been influenced by the Greek and Roman cultures into which they were now living. Peter led by the Holy Spirit addressed the sanctity in marriage. The women might have looked to the cultural mores of their neighbors or those of influence and desired to incorporate these values into their lives. Peter knew the women, these women needed to hold to godly values: holy inner beauty, inner disposition (temperament): gentle, and loyal . First, Peter addresses the intimacy of marriage as well as the physical needs of support (being a helpmate Gen.2:18). In order to be good wives, there had to be the bond of trust between wife and husband. They needed the intimacy of spiritual continuity so their prayer life wouldn't be hampered. Peter may have had in mind his wife, or his mother-in-law, who after being healed of a fever, attended to the need of hospitality in the home. The adjective “good” refers back to godly attitude, for only God is good (Phil. 4:8-9, Mk.10:18, Prov.31:10-31) Church historian Clement wrote about Peter and his wife at her death, “"When the blessed Peter saw his own wife led out to die, he rejoiced because of her summons and her return home, and called to her very encouragingly and comfortingly, addressing her by name, and saying, 'Remember the Lord.' Such was the marriage of the blessed, and their perfect disposition toward those dearest to them." 

Second, Peter addresses the unbelief or waywardness of unsaved husbands. The women of Peter’s era were sometimes the first to come to Christ (Mary Magdalene, Joanna, and Susanna, Lydia, Dorcus, Prisca, Junia, Julia, and Nereus' sister, Lois and Eunice, and many others). Peter reminded the women that they were to live lives of submission to the unbelieving husband. Peter believed the men will be captivated by a godly woman and give praise to God.

 Third, Peter addresses the importance of the inner beauty of a godly life. The outward adornment of hair, jewelry, clothes, and perfume were the attractions of the Egyptian, Greek and Roman women, and the women of the large cities of Asia Minor. Peter knew that God desires the women to “cultivate inner beauty, the gentle, gracious kind that God delights in.” Peter used Sarah, Abraham’s wife as an example of the beauty that God considers right and good. She was submissive to Abraham’s call, the needs in the tent (home) as well as the care of Abraham. And Peter considered Sarah as a role model for godly women, “You’ll be true daughters of Sarah if you do the same, unanxious and unintimidated.” Sarah trusted her husband who was led by God to the promise of land and children. She was not anxious even when she was taken by foreign kings because of her inner and outer beauty, and she was not intimidated by these men because she knew that God was her strength and protection. One anonymous writer described Sarah with these characteristics. Sarah, the Founding Matriarch of Judaism, is legendary for her enduring faithfulness to God, and her unswerving commitment to her husband Abraham. Characteristics abound as she is described as faithful, beautiful, loving, steadfast, authoritative, caring, submissive, obedient, stubborn, hospitable, fearless, and loyal. Anonymous, Sarah of the Bible. These are the characteristics of a godly woman.

Application -  In the opening paragraph, I stated the 21st century women’s movement would have affirmed the good characteristics as long as they were accredited to her or her gender, not to God or in other male entities. I am not bashing the rights of women, but like Peter, I believe that godly women are to restrain from the outward adornments and cling to the inner beauty of submission, service, and honor to God and her husband who is being led by God. When I met my wife, she was a young lady who had attended church all of her life. I saw in her the differences from the girls in the world and it drew me to her, even though I was far away from God. I think today’s young ladies and older ones need to desire to please God with the beauty of an inner disposition of gentleness and a gracious spirit of loyalty instead of the latest craze or moment for worldly freedom.

Now, Peter admonishes the men to be godly men. First, the men needed to submit intimately with their wives, delighting in them.  They were to honor their wives as equals in the sight of God. Let’s look at the text, “The same goes for you husbands: Be good husbands to your wives. Honor them, delight in them. As women they lack some of your advantages. But in the new life of God’s grace, you’re equals. Treat your wives, then, as equals so your prayers don’t run aground.”

Peter begins his admonishing of men, what is good for the goose is good for the gander. Godly men were to have the same submissive attitude as women. Again this was revolutionary in the world of Peter’s day. Men were authoritative, dominant, virile in masculinity (macho). Peter stated men were to be good to their wives. Again, goodness is only measured in godliness, for only God is good. The men were to honor their wife and other women. They were to be treated as equals in the sight of God. As in the patriarchs of the Bible, they honored their wives and in doing so, they were delighted in them. For example, Peter could have taught them about the Proverbs 31 wife, and how the husband delighted in her (Prov. 31:11-12,23,28,31). 

Next, Peter’s teaching addresses not the lack of abilities but of advantages. Remember, Peter was exhorting groups of exiled christians who had followed the ways of their cultures, and many times assimilated the values of the male role with the dominant masculinity of the world. Godly men didn’t abuse or belittle their wives, they protected and provided for them, and like the Proverbs 31 woman, she was able to have the advantages in business of the male dominated culture of Greek and Rome. The Christian men were to cultivate the bond of honor, submission, and service with their wives. In adhering to godly teaching and values, the prayer life of both the men and women would not be hampered by selfishness, degrading and dishonoring, and a dominant mindset. In keeping their lives free to pray to an ever present God, their lives would not be shipwrecked by the sinful and worldly passions of the world.

Application - Men listen up, we should honor our wives every chance we get, especially in front of a world that views genders with such an obscure and obtuse manner. We can only do this by God’s power, the Holy Spirit, who works in us to bring glory to God the Father, and His Son Jesus Christ. We need to delight in their unique God-given abilities. They are sometimes smarter than us. I stand amazed at my wife, even though her physical health is not the best, she shines in creative and organized talents that make our lives and our home blessed. Today, many wives have the same advantages as we men, and they are our equals, the two have become one under Christ. So, if your life at home, or work is in turmoil, check and see if your marriage needs maintenance and attention. Submit to her as she does to you, just as you both do to Christ. Serve her as she serves you, and honor her as she brings honor to you. Then your prayer life and marriage life will run smoothly through the waters of a rocky world. 

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Until next week, In His Service, Mike Davis